When they are different from us

What happens when Christians find themselves divided over what each believes to be a matter of fundamental truth?

That’s a big question. Does it lead to schism — further fragmenting the Church — or do we simply learn to live uneasily with the elephant in the room?

For several years, the Church of England has wrestled with the issue of same-sex relationships — a subject that has stirred deep emotions and entrenched divisions. It hasn’t been easy.

This week the House of Bishops decided to halt plans to allow gay couples to have dedicated blessing services in church. At the same time, the ban on priests marrying same-sex partners will be extended. How long this decision will stay I have no idea.

The Bishop of Blackburn, Philip North (whom I quoted last week), conceded:

“They will be painful decisions to accept for many, but are necessary to ensure proper processes are followed when considering changes to church doctrine.”

But this is not new territory. From the very beginning — since Pentecost — the Church has had to face major disagreements, especially as cultures shift and new challenges arise. And perhaps most difficult of all: when people very different from us become disciples!

In writing this blog, I’ve drawn on a recent Guidelines series by Isabelle Hamley — my daughter’s former next-door neighbour, now Principal of Ridley Hall, Cambridge. She writes insightfully on how the early Church managed conflict, learning together to discern where and how God was at work

For God has a habit of drawing together people who have little in common — and sometimes don’t want to have much in common. So what is my reaction, our reaction, when we are called to share fellowship with those unlike ourselves?

Here the Holy Spirit  is shaping the Church of Jesus into an entirely new kind of community — one that challenges social, cultural, and political boundaries. And yes, that can be unsettling. From the very start, as we read in the Acts of the Apostles, this has been the story of the early Church.

Here, God brings seismic change into a world of sharp divisions and fixed lines, often (though not always gently) urging us beyond our comfort zones.

Yet the fundamental truth remains simple: we are God’s Church, and it is his responsibility to guide and resource us. Our responsibility is to listen — really listen — to him. The Good Shepherd still leads his flock, even when the path is steep or unclear.

The encounter between Peter and the Gentile centurion Cornelius is a turning point in that story — a huge risk for both men. Luke in his account shows how the Holy Spirit engineers this meeting, making it clear that everyone, irrespective of background, is welcome in Christ’s Church.

As Hamley observes: “It is one thing to witness something that shatters our preconceptions for ourselves, but second-hand witness is not the same. Peter and Cornelius had a direct experience. Other believers had to trust their testimony and recognise the signs of the Spirit at work for themselves.”

Here we see the early Church learning to listen to one another, even as the Holy Spirit challenges their deepest assumptions. When Peter tells his story, he does not rely on his authority; instead, he submits to the community’s discernment.

He speaks, they listen — and think. Then comes their breakthrough: “And then, as it sank in, they started praising God. ‘It’s really happened! God has broken through to the other nations, opened them up to Life!’” (Acts 11:18)

From this point onwards, the early Church is on a steep learning curve. As Hamley puts it: “Believers learn of God, and learn the ways of God, and these ways are worked out in transformed relationships, so that a new community is formed — unimaginable a few short years before.”

That new community is marked by generosity and connection: Gentile churches in Greece supporting the struggling believers in Judea — something astonishingly new in the ancient world.   

So the link between churches of different, even competing, nations we need to value. After all, as Archbishop Justin observed: “The average Anglican is a woman in her 30s living in sub-Saharan Africa on less than four dollars per day.” 

Through his Church God is at work — and the world can never be the same.

Above all, this is a story of barriers coming down. Paul would later write with joy: “Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.” (Colossians 3:11)

Getting there wasn’t easy — and even as the New Testament closes, there are those clinging to the familiar ways, as the Church struggles to engage a pagan culture and a hostile world. Yet the Holy Spirit keeps nudging, stretching, and sometimes unsettling the Church still.

We are in the slow learners class, but thankfully the Spirit is patient — always urging us forward.

This is not to predict how the Church of England will finally resolve the issue of same-sex relationships. But what we can do is model how disagreements are handled, and how strong convictions can be heard in love.

We must be honest before God, allow him to speak to us whatever our position, and above all, submit ourselves to the lordship of Christ.

After all — it is his Church.